Sunflower journey.......

5 years ago, July 2019 i left my house and walked into my local Tesco express and picked up the biggest and brightest bunch of my favourite flowers: sunflowers. A simple act that marked a profound turning point in my life.

For 14 years I was severely agoraphobic at my lowest i couldn't even open my front door the world outside felt to frightening the panic of stepping out there just felt like a huge challenge, each day defined by fear and confinement something within me yearned for change, to see beyond these walls.

Each day I took one small step starting with walking to the end of my path to walking up and down the road to finally around the block it took weeks to get to that point and then, there I was, i made it to the shops! The vibrant golden sunflowers became a symbol of my journey they reminded me of the brightness and hope beyond my front door, how they turn to find the light even when it's dark.

This journey so far hasn't been easy i was making progress then lockdowns happened and my exposure became difficult but I kept going and had to dig even deeper, and understanding what agoraphobia was, this is for another post for sure.

As I was setting up the backdrop and my camera looking at the sunflowers I felt this wave of love and gratitude for that present moment I was in and how far I had come. These self portraits with the sunflowers felt like a beautiful way to honour myself and my journey so far, recently connecting back to photography it felt magical I was meant to be here in this very moment the timing just AH! i know i will look back on these photos like i do with all my self portraits they freeze the moment, add a piece to my history, discovering more about me.

If you find yourself struggling as cliché as it sounds remember every journey starts with one step forward and just like sunflowers we all deserve to thrive and grow.

To anyone facing your own battles: believe in your strength! Your courage! Your beauty and resilience, patience and courage.

You are not defined by your fears your mental health and if you are facing agoraphobia no you are not alone celebrate every small victory!

Lots of love Em xx